"A Young Child's View of the World"
By Lori Secouler-Beaudry, Ph.D Registered Psychologist

As a professor of Development Psychology at Saint Mary's, an important part of my curriculum is to help the students understand a child's perception of his or her world, and the ability to interact with it, depending on the level of development. In other words, an infant a few weeks old interprets the world through limited vision, smells, touch and sound. The brain has not yet formed all the connections necessary and has not enough in important areas in order to allow the baby to remember very much, or to have fine motor coordination. The baby is born prepared to learn many things - and this learning starts at the moment of birth, and perhaps even before. (Babies can remember sounds heard in the womb in the 8th month of pregnancy). As the baby's brain develops, with appropriate stimulation from the parents, more and more learning takes place - but always within the level of development. A two-year-old can only respond to the environment with a two-year-old brain.

This very important fact was "brought home" to me when I saw a young father angrily pull his toddler through the local library picture book shelves. The child apparently could not stop reaching for the brightly colored books and was crying loudly because he was frightened. The more the child cried, the angrier the father became. "Can't you remember anything?" he whispered fiercely. "Stop crying or I will give you something to cry about." He yanked the child's arm, lifting him off the floor and dragged him through the exit. I wanted to follow the pair and explain to the father that a three year old's attention was fairly limited, except when interesting, brightly colored things were around - especially in the children's section of the library. This is why the books are designed the way they are - to entice children to pick them up. The parent's job in toddler hood is to promote and support exploration of the environment and to set appropriate limits to ensure safety. Father and son might have had a good experience in the library had father stayed near the child as he chose a book, and helped the child turn the pages and examine what was there. Toddler hood is the time when a child begins to feel anxiety when he or she thinks that he or she has committed a transgression (resulting in "deviation anxiety"). As this child did not know what he had done to displease his father, he was extremely upset and could not control his crying. Most children want to please their parents and if his situation is repeated, the boy will mistrust the environment, rather than his father. Obviously this was not the young father's intent at all, but despite his intentions, his fears about book touching and noise were conveyed to the child.

People sometimes mistakenly expect young children to understand another person's point of view, or to see another person as a separate entity with another way of thinking and experiencing the world. And yet, "egocentrism" (the inability to see another's point of view) is extremely common - even normal - until at least the age of 4. Brain maturation appears to be the key in this, and in other cognitive limitations found in 3 and 4 year olds. A young child's working memory is very limited - and they have very few strategies to improve it. Johnny may walk around all day with his lunch box if he is told not to forget it.

The situation that apparently angers parents the most, is the inability of a child to "delay gratification". With the support from a parent, a pre-school child can begin to tolerate the frustration in delaying gratification and reduce the amount of distress experienced when he or she cannot have the desired toy or candy.

Knowing that children increase cognitive skills slowly, and that they are not "miniature adults", has been the hallmark of Child Development studies in the 20th century. We dress them like children now, and not little adults - but we often forget that children cannot understand the world in the same way that we do. To respond effectively, to help them in their development, and to avoid causing them distress and even harm, it is very important to try to remember this in dealing with children. Following their cues sometimes helps to understand how they think and feel, but it always helps to seek out information on child development or on the internet, for example - to develop your own understanding.

If what I have written piques your interest as a parent, please continue to seek out the answer to the riddle that every parent faces - "Why does my child behave that way?"

Lori Secouler-Beaudry may be reached at Roth Associates in Psychology. at (902) 454-6166. Roth Associates in Psychology is a full-service counselling Firm whose Registered Psychologists and Social Workers offer assistance to children, adolescents, adults, couples and families.