Self-Care: It’s For Everyone
Rodney Keddy, M.Ed.
Registered Psychologist
When you hear the words “self-care” what does it mean to
you? Does it simply mean eating three square meals a day
and getting a good night sleep? Maybe there are things
you do, if not consciously, that could be considered selfcare
practices even if you haven’t thought of it that way.
It is not uncommon in today’s world to hear people say
they are stressed out. And while experiencing stress is not
itself a bad thing, experiencing prolonged, unrelenting
stress can be harmful to both our psychological and
physical health.
If you want to learn how to manage stress better, one
approach to doing so is to improve/increase your selfcare
practices. Taking care of yourself can help provide
a feeling of stability and confidence, which can increase
your resilience to stress and make you more effective at
managing life’s challenges.
In my counselling practice I sometimes encounter
individuals who feel worn out. They feel their resources
are all but tapped. Sometimes they describe a life in
which they give, give, give, until they have nothing left.
Essentially their own wellbeing has slipped way down the
list when it comes to priorities.
Parents can probably relate to this as much as anyone. You
want the best for your children, so naturally you make
their needs a priority. However, sometimes in the process
of raising children we forget about our own needs. And
those needs go well beyond food, shelter, and water. They
include a feeling of wellness, having good relationships,
experiencing peace of mind, feeling you are an effective
parent, and having some sense of control in your life. When
these things start to unravel so too does our ability to
effectively manage the challenges that can come our way.
Taking care of your self is not selfish. In fact, it is one of
the greatest gifts you can give. When you begin to take
better care of yourself, it follows that you have more to
give others. Self-care affects everyone that you come
into contact with. Treating yourself well and caring for
your body, mind, and spirit makes you a better partner, a
better parent, and a better friend. And keep in mind that
you can teach your children a great deal by modeling the
behaviours you would like for them. If you want your
children to take care of themselves then let them see their
parents doing the same.
Psychology can help us gain a broader view of self-care.
The term psychology comes from two words: “psyche,”
meaning soul or spirit, and “logos,” which translates to
study or meaning. At its essence, psychology is the study
of spirit. And while we certainly need to take care of our
physical selves by eating well, exercising, and getting
enough sleep, taking care of your psyche means pursuing
those things that feed your spirit. While the possibilities
for doing so are endless, here are a few suggestions that
have proven fruitful for countless people over time:
spending time in nature, listening to music, praying,
meditating, walking, spending time with loved ones, being
creative, and reading from the wisdom of the ages.
Keep in mind that similar to maintaining good physical
health our psyche requires some dedication of time and
effort. If your time is limited as it probably is, then try
doing one thing you believe will add to your sense of
wellbeing. Take care of yourself by feeding your spirit and
everyone around you will benefit.
I leave you with the following story:
One evening an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson
about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, ‘My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside
us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret,
greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority,
lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity,
humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity,
truth, compassion and faith.’
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then
asked his grandfather: ‘Which wolf wins?’
The old Cherokee simply replied, ‘The one you feed.’
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